No Longer Searching

HOPING AND SEARCHING

AFTER leaving school, the first two jobs I got were with undertakers. I have many memories of that time. I recall a black coffin, which was made for a Christian Brother, who had arranged to be buried in the graveyard of the local monastery. Priests were buried facing the setting sun, while everybody else was buried facing the rising sun.

The most expensive coffin that we made was an oak casket. This was ordered by a very wealthy man, some months before he died. He insisted there should be a mattress and pillow and plush lining, all done in pink velvet. He did not want to be buried in the ground, but arranged to be laid to rest in a vault. A special shelf was prepared for him, and his casket, along with numerous wreaths of flowers, was placed in the vault after one of the largest funerals ever seen in our town.

In complete contrast to this were the paupers, who died in the County Home. Some of these poor people had no relatives. Others belonged to families who had 'signed them in', and then abandoned them. These unfortunates were given a funeral which was paid for by the State. The cheapest coffin, with no fancy handles or trimmings, was provided. The funeral cortege usually consisted of the priest, the undertaker, and his assistant. Sometimes, passers-by had to be called upon to carry the coffin into the graveyard. The paupers were buried in a certain area of the graveyard that had been especially reserved for them.

I remember a Protestant funeral, and the difficulty we had in putting a foot across the threshold of their church building. We actually considered leaving the coffin on the steps of the building, because we had been told by the nuns, priests and Christian Brothers that we were never to set foot inside such a place, and that to do so would be sin.

During the time I worked with the undertakers, I became very much aware of the fact that, whether a person was a millionaire or a pauper, he still had two appointments to keep, which were Death and Judgement. The second appointment, at the judgement seat of God was, to me, the one most to be feared. I knew there would not be a priest, or a minister, an angel or a saint, to speak on the person's behalf; but that he would stand alone, and have to give an account to God. It did not matter which Church he belonged to, or what the size of his funeral had been. It did not matter whether he had been placed on a shelf in a vault, or had been buried in a cheap coffin in the 'paupers' plot,' he still had that appointment at God's judgement throne.

Now, I had a great love for music at that time, and I remember getting my first kit of drums when I was fifteen years old. Some time later I joined a local rock group and, after spending a year playing 'heavy' music, I joined a showband. During the sixties, the showband scene was very big in Ireland, and we travelled to many parts of the country, playing in venues that varied from large ballrooms to marquees, and from grade A hotels to parish halls. At that time, all the dance halls in the south of Ireland closed during the season of Lent, and a lot of the showbands then travelled to England or Scotland for work. We did this in 1966, and toured England, playing mainly in Irish clubs and halls. For us, this was a great experience, as we met a lot of Irish emigrants, many of them homesick exiles. They would come to hear the Irish showbands, and we would play a lot of their favourite music.

The highlight of my involvement in the music scene was when, in 1968, as a drummer with a pop group, we recorded two songs in the Eamonn Andrews' Studios in Dublin. Later on, I formed my own group and played guitar and banjo in many halls and pubs in the Tipperary area.

It was while I was involved in the music business that I met Mary, and in 1967 we were married in a little country Chapel. Both of us were devout Roman Catholics, and regularly attended mass and the sacraments. I also attended weekend retreats in Limerick, at the Redemptorist Retreat House.

When our first three children were born, we had them baptised into the Roman Catholic Church, and were determined that they would be instructed, both at school and at home, concerning the mass and sacraments, etc. During all this time, even though I was very much involved in religion, I had never read the Bible. I did not know what God's Word said concerning the way of salvation. My parents had bought a large family Bible when we were all young, but it was never read. It had beautiful binding, and we often opened it to look at the lovely pictures in it. But, unfortunately, we did not examine it to see what God had to say in His Word.

Now, many years later, as a married man with a family, I still did not know God's plan of salvation. I was depending upon being a good Roman Catholic, faithfully attending mass and the sacraments, doing my best to be a good husband, a good parent, a good neighbour, etc., and hoping all of this would help get me to Heaven.