Hi Ann, I'm kind of in a difficult relationship now and I don't know what to do? I'm 17 and have been seeing this girl who is in her mid 20's. I really do like her a lot and I don't want to lose her but I'm afraid that I will. We met back a few months ago and started to see each other, but then she dumped me saying she wasn't ready for a relationship. Then a few weeks later she rang me one night and invited me to her place. I was surprised but delighted to see we were still friends. We ended up having oral sex and it was my first time ever doing something like this with a girl. Since then we have had a few more nights like this and a few weeks ago I lost my virginity to her. Since then we haven't done it and I'm going on holidays soon and she's telling me to get all the women I can. I don't want to do this but she's telling me I'm mad. Am I mad? I just think she's not taking the relationship serious and she says she doesn't want me to get hurt? help me?

Dear deaf, I think the important thing to bear in mind in what you wrote to me is that fact that your lover said she " wasn't ready for a relationship."  I know she may be important to you as you lost your virginity to her but if she does not want a boyfriend at this moment in time you will have to respect her choice. Also if she wants you to get as many women as you can on holidays it is very likely she is having sex with other people as well. So if she becomes pregnant while you are seeing her I would ask her to get a blood test done on the child to make sure it is yours and not the postman's.