Bad Clinton Jokes

What was Bill's rationalization that oral sex is not a sexual encounter?
Because Monica did not swallow!

Who's handling the case?
"Inter"al Affairs

Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky?
Pres: Improper? ... Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I've ever had.

What's the difference between Watergate and Zippergate?
At least this time, there's no doubt about the identity of "Deep Throat."

How did Bill reply regarding questions of "coaching" Monica's testimony?
"It wasn't words that I put in her mouth".

Why didn't Monica swallow?
Because that would be destruction of evidence.

Why is Chelsea upset about Zippergate?
Her dad is getting more dates than she is.

Why did Monica Lewinsky accept an offer to work on the White House staff?
She didn't understand know what STAFF he really meant.

Why is President Clinton waiting to tell his side of the story?
He's waiting for Marv Albert to do the interview.

Who's going to score first in the Super Bowl? The Denver Broncos or the Green Bay Packers?
Bill Clinton

What was the White House Chief of Staff's reaction to the Lewinsky story?
Now I know why they kept calling Monica the "head" intern!

What's Hillary's new nickname for Bill's penis?
"The Titanic" - because over 1500 interns went down on it.

What was yesterday's Washington Post Headline?
"Bush Beats Clinton"

What is Clinton's new Secret Service Code Name?
Unibanger.

How does Hillary feel?
She may be the FIRST LADY, but she won't be the LAST

What advice did Yasar Arafat give President Clinton in their meeting on January 22, 1998?
"Bill....Goats don't talk!!"

What do Bill and Ross Perot have in common?
They both heard a giant sucking sound!

President Clinton said to Monica, "I didn't tell you to lie in deposition . . .
I told you to lie in THAT POSITION!"

Realization of from another White House intern . . .
And all that time I thought that humming was the shredder!



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