Martins Page         This week our  ageing striker just back from a trip from his beloved Anfield writes about PENALTIES of all things and the need to retain this finger biting and nerve shattering part of the game .... Penalty Clauses. A live audience of around 50,000, a tv audience of around 50 million. You and your mates have tried your best for 120 minutes and as you step towards the loneliest place on Earth for a footballer, what you've dreaded for nine shots at goal has come to pass. Yours may be the deciding kick. Everyone is watching, everyone. Live audience, TV audience, sponsors, potential sponsors, scouts and perhaps most agonisingly, your team' fans. Score and your a hero, national and international, you're rich, you're moving to Juve, Milan, Barca, you're chaired off the pitch never to forget the cheers of adulation emanating from your team's "end". Miss and your Bossis, Baggio, Stieleke, Southgate, Timofte. And although your career may not be over you will forever be remembered as "the guy who missed". Twice if your Gareth Southgate. So, you can see why the top brass in football are continuously searching for a new way to end a footie stalemate. The pressure for those involved is immense and sympathy must go to those who miss in front of millions. But if FIFA want to expand the game as a spectacle then surely the spot kicks must stay. Even the Americans get excited about "Soccer" when it comes to penalties. Penalties can provide a humane end to a boring encounter, let's face it who hasn't shifted themselves excitedly to the edge of a sofa or barstool at the final whistle of extra time at the end of even Leicester v Fulham, or they can raise the excitement level of an already enthralling game, witness W. Germany v Czechoslovakia 1976, W. Germany v France 1982 and France v Brazil 1986. There's a lobby that call the penalty shoot out a "Lottery". Fine, if the kicker and keepers were blind folded well then yes, it's a lottery. But the fact is that scoring a penalty is a skilful part of being a football player and saving one even more so. Often you'll find that the begrudging voice about penalties has it's source at the vocal chords of the losing manager, most recently Arsene Whinger, until it's his turn to benefit from the spot. Ah yes Arsenal, a team who took Sheff Wed. and Liverpool to 3 replays each in the eighties, just reason alone to keep penalties. Recently I heard of a number of variations put forward to enhance the penalty shoot out, best of the pile came from Danny Baker in the London Times, more of that later, but first consider the Andorran league, yes that's Andorra, the "Blink and you'll missed it" portion of the Pyrenees whose sole purpose seems to be a duty free shopping experience for people holidaying in the North of Spain or the South of France. Consider this, You've just spotted the ball and started your run up, you then experience that horrifying moment when you see the keeper going the right way but it's too late to alter your own direction and the gloved one palms the ball to safety, you sink to your knees with head in hands but there's no time to dwell on your mistake because you've missed and according to Andorran FA rules you now have to take the next penalty too! Yes that's right, the Andorran FA have decreed that a missed penalty is punishable by.... another penalty, Christ how cruel!, surely the life imprisonment should be considered. But it still doesn't even the stakes and so we come to Danny Baker's idea for the improvement of the Penalty kick. The idea is so simple and one that, after brief consideration, I am whole heartedly in agreement with. An idea that ups the ante for both fans and players alike and it's as simple as this. Each team gets to pick the opposing teams kickers! Brilliant! Why hasn't it been thought of before? Imagine the last five minutes of extra time and the thoughts both managers has switched from "how can I win this game" to "how can I make my opponents lose this game". And it's simple, simply choose five players on the opposing team with a propensity for finding the corner flag each time they shoot for goal. If the Andorran system and the Baker system can somehow be amalgamated we may well have the ultimate in penalty entertainment whereby Germany initially nominate Gareth Southgate..... and the rest is defeat for England.   HOME