Counting Baldwins

INTRODUCTION: The Baldwins are a family of actors. Their goals, methods of achieving them, and the exact number of them, are not known. It is certain however that they should be observed, at a safe distant, so that whenever they do begin their final offensive we can be prepared. Because Baldwin counter-intelligence and propaganda resources are so awesome little reliable information is available. Much of this piece is based on hearsay and unreliable sources. Some parts are entirely fictional.

THE RISE OF THE BALDWINS: Although they had been preparing for decades, the Baldwins only made themselves known to the public during the eigthies. Alec was the first to appear in a film but once his foothold was secured William soon followed. Several attempts were made to create positions for Stephen and Daniel but poor weather conditions forced these plans to be delayed until the nineties. While the four chief Baldwins were engaged in these activities large numbers of suspected Baldwins made unsuccessful movies and had minor roles in television programmes.

BALDWIN HIERARCHY: No outside agency has successful infiltrated the Baldwin organisation but some educated guesses have been made about it's structure.

Alec is their leader but he may be answering to a higher authority. William is Alec's right-hand man. This is represented by putting him below Alec on the graph. Stephen has a slightly elevated position, relative to Daniel, since the success of "The Usual Suspects". Alec may have tried to appease Daniel by giving him control over William's cats and Stephen's fish. The "Lesser Known Baldwins" are under the authority of Stephen and Daniel. It was suggested that they have previously used this force in an attempted coup d'etat to overthrow William and Stephen. Baldwin propaganda quashed these rumours, claiming perfect unity among Baldwins.

NUMBER OF BALDWINS: There are 4 confirmed Baldwins: Alec, William, Stephen, and Daniel. Suspected Baldwins include Adam, Michael, Peter, Robert, Joseph, Gustav, and Yosuke. There are also ties to a group using the name "Easton". Perhaps a group of Baldwins has broken away to form a new organistaion, but little is known at this point. It is unlikely the exact number of Baldwins will ever be known but recent estimates show that the Baldwins now outnumber the Wayans as well as the Arquettes.

THE FUTURE: Whatever their ultimate plan is, it seems to be a long term one. Perhaps one generation of Baldwins is not sufficient to complete it. Alec's actions seem to support this hypothesis, as he has been creating new Baldwins with the aid of Kim Basinger, a known Baldwin sympathiser. It can be assumed that William, Stephen, and Daniel are engaged in similar activities.

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