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Films I've seen since the fourteenth of July (14/7/99). There's nothing particularly special about that date, except that it's Bastille Day and also about 16 million peoples' birthday. But that has nothing to do with the page. I just started making it on that day. If you've already read "Media Blackout" you'll know what I think about critics and all the things they do that I hate. I seem to do some of those things myself in this section. Why should you care what I think about a bunch of films?... I'm really not selling this very well. It's good, trust me. Words of film-related wisdom which I am imparting via this website. I think I'm quite good at imparting, in fact I always thought my impartment was without impairment. I wanted to become a qualified imparter (to profess professionally), but it's not about the impartment anymore. It's all politics; corruption confounding the committee of qualified communicators. At the moment this section contains a tactical analysis of Baldwin forces, Media Blackout - the core of my movie beliefs, Musicals - an extract from The Catcher in the Rye, and The Shaft Saga - my anticipating the arrival of John Shaft's new incarnation. The obligatory section which all webpages must have. There really is no need for an explanation here, so in an unexpected move, I'll just write some quotes from 'Jaws'. You're gonna need a bigger boat. You got city hands boy. Aye aye sir, arrgh Jim lad. Why did he want a bigger boat anyway? That sailor guy would have just said, "Forget it city boy, I seen a great white swallow a super tanker whole. Just gimme a toothpick and a good sheep-shank and I'll land 'im for ya."

Version 5

My counter is probably the one thing that The Count from Sesame Street wouldn't haven't enjoyed counting.

One. It is still on one. Ah ah ah! one. Gather round children and count with me. ONE!... it will change soon children, I promise. No! don't leave! Don't go to the Cookie Monster. Stay please! DAMN YOU COOKIE MONSTER! You know, children, he doesn't even eat the cookies, he just breaks them up and they fall out of his mouth!

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One